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I think i am beginning to become pretty handy with a shovel... I…

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I think i am beginning to become pretty handy with a shovel... I seem to be digging myself down deeper and deeper...

I wish i knew how to be strong.. I wish i could remember who i was.. or know who i am... i only know that i hate who i am now..

I am so sick of feeling this way... if i try to get out... it will only get worse.... 

i fucking hate this....


i give up

anxious anxious
stutterfly-shallow reasons
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On January 26th, 2006 12:13 am (UTC), tjoblank commented:
I know I never talk to you or anything and I have no idea why you put that entry in there, but I just want to say... DON'T EVER GIVE UP! Giving up is the worst thing you can do because its the most painful. Now, what else I was going to say, is I don't know what's going on or being said, but I never thought my bf was cheating on me and no we didn't go on a break. We had a bad time but all relationships do. Anyway, I just wanted to clear that up because I'm sick of hearing this "he said, she said" stuff... and I don't blame you for anything, just fyi.I just wanted to clear things up. So for anyone who is that curious about it, tell them that. Anyway, hope things are good with you and tyler... Have a good day.
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On January 29th, 2006 08:55 pm (UTC), saynevertoolate replied:
I am sure you have already heard, but tyler and i broke up... He started it.. but i finished it.. and it felt so good to finally get to yell at him... and i am happy to be away from him and they way he treated me.. :-\ but your comment made me feel better, although i just got it today.. but i am also sick of this he said she said stuff too... and i am glad you aren't mad at me.. i was honestly worried... :-\.. but i guess i'll talk to you later..
On January 30th, 2006 02:09 am (UTC), tjoblank replied:
I felt bad after I put that because I didn't know then that you broke up. Honestly, I'm so happy for you. I heard how he treated you and I didn't think you deserved that. No one deserves to be treated the way he treated you. Sometimes its hard to push them away, but then again, most of the time, its the best thing you can do for yourself. So I know its a breakup and everything... and those aren't usually good, but honestly, I'm happy you finally stood up to him!! You deserve so much better! And whatever you do, don't let him get you down. HE'S NOT WORTH IT!!! : ) Guys.... I tell ya... Well, have a good day! I hope your doing ok. Little hint, if you ever get bummed out about it, just think of all the bad things... It helps you realize you did the right thing. And don't worry, (yeah this is korny) but you'll find someone a hell of a lot better.... : )
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On February 2nd, 2006 01:36 am (UTC), saynevertoolate replied:
thanks.. :-\... its good to hear all of those things.. i just wish everything wasn't so complicated... and hard.. but i know it can only get better from him...
On February 4th, 2006 10:03 pm (UTC), tjoblank replied:
I know you're not on this a lot, and well, neither am I, but I added you as a friend. Too bad I never got a chance to talk to you in high school. You seem like a really nice person. Yep, well, Have a wonderful day! Hope everything is good for you! If all else fails, just smile! : )
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On February 5th, 2006 05:54 pm (UTC), saynevertoolate replied:
I'll try.. ;).. I hope you have a good day also! And I hope all is well for you.. thank you :)
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